marvel, agent carter

mermaid88


If Books Were Movies...

They'd have to kick me out of the theater.


Beauty and the Beast (2017) review (only vague spoilers for those who haven't seen it yet!)
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
Like many of us, I came into the movie already biased towards the animated version. However about halfway through, I realized: This film is how little (and big) kids imagine themselves in Belle's shoes. Or any favorite film character's shoes, really. We may watch it in animated style, but when you're playing pretend and you say "I'll be Iron Man"(or Belle or Anastasia), you're not imagining yourself as a cartoon. You're seeing yourself as this character would be if they were a live human being. This film is some little girl or boy's imagination come to life.

1) A lot of the Disney Live Action Remakes end up looking really Tim Burtonesque. This one didn't. At first, I was disappointed that it didn't follow the 1991 version to the T, but then I ended up liking that they took elements from (what I guess were) different versions of the fairytale.
2) I liked the realistic look of the palace workers.
3) To me, "Be Our Guest" was NOT the Big Production Song of the film. It wasn't...BIG enough of a production, to me, until the last part. It felt like they were holding back. Maybe it was a "you can do more with traditional animation" thing.
4)What DID seem like The Big Production Song was the song Gaston and the villagers sang in preparation to storm the castle. It had all the energy and flash and build-up that "Be Our Guest" should've had.
5) I liked that Belle wasn't perfect, lookswise. She had more of an everyday person look to her that I appreciated as opposed to that flawless princess look.
6) I didn't care that much for Prince Adam's singing voice, but his acting voice could read me the Yellow Pages anytime. 
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marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
forget it. I'm not telling them SHIT. all they do is rehash the same stuff over and over and over, completely ignoring everything i say to them, just so they can pat themselves on the back and say "oh we tried so hard, she just didn't want to do anything. too bad, she had so much potential and she wasted it". they havent even gotten out of bed yet and they're already shit-talking me! and of course, mom has taken dad's side regarding driving me to this new job(if she'd ever been on my side at all in the first place). I've told them a thousand times what my reasoning for things was and yet "she should have done dental". I picked dental out of the clear blue sky, out of my ass, because i kept getting asked what i wanted to do when i grew up. that's the ONLY reason. I had absofucking NO personal investment in it. "she was getting help from the clinic and she was getting stipends and never gave us a dime". I ASKED YOU IF YOU WANTED IT AND YOU SAID NO, PUT IT IN A BANK ACCOUNT. "she won't even get on social security disability. the commercial keeps showing the woman saying she didn't know she could get it for having major depressive disorder. ariel has depression." that's because then you'll go back to Oh, she had so much potential but she threw it all away and got on disability,. "it wouldve been far easier to ride the bus in Buffalo than it is out here;" that was NEVER an option. I guarantee you that if we were back in Buffalo I'd still be in the same boat; you wouldn't let me ride the bus "because you never know who's on there these days". and yet you say "i hope that God knocks her off her high horse, but when he does, I hope it's something she can get through." I'm done. i'm not doing anything.

well i guess that cuts out ever getting a job;
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88

So after 4 months of unemployment, I finally got an interview at the outlet mall nearby (15 minutes away). It went well, I guess, because they called back saying they wanted to do a second interview. BUT. While we were out the other day, mom tells me that dad says if I get the job, he's not driving me out there, because he remembers when I was working at the other store and he had to sit outside and wait for me when I didn't come out exactly when my shift was over (because I HAD TO WAIT FOR WHOEVER HAD THE NEXT SHIFT TO COME RELIEVE ME, I COULDN'T JUST, WALK OFF. DUH.). She said he said I'd have to take the bus or something. BUT. Mom doesn't want me taking the "dangerous" bus anywhere. BUT. Because she's taking care of my grandma, there'd obviously be times that she wouldn't be able to take me either. So I didn't contact the company back. So basically, now, I'm not allowed to get a job until I get my own transportation. I have no idea what they want from me now, but I absofucking guarantee that they will be sitting around talking about how lazy I am for not having a job.


And the beat rolls on: I can literally say that today, the only kind, non-complaining words mom said to me were "good morning" when she passed by the bathroom. From the second I showed my face downstairs til the moment I got tired of it and went back upstairs, she was complaining and nagging and martyring herself. "Don't come in here making a mess" she says. I tell her I don't plan to, and remind her my therapy appointment is today. "I don't have anything to do with that...And I'm not mad!" she replies. Notice I never said anything about her being mad? And then for the next half hour, it's about the damn dishes: "no one does them but me" "no one puts them away but me" "no one cleans the kitchen but me". I did try to cut it down; I told her (agian, for the 99thousandth time) that I either wash the stuff I use, or put it in the dishwasher. "I'm saying this to you, because it's what I'm going to tell your dad" she says. She does that a lot, too: yell at me as a proxy for dad for things he's done around the house. She says it's so dad can hear her yelling at me about it and stop doing it himself. (WTF?!??!!?) So back to the martyring: "I'm washing the dishes, so can you at least put them away when you're done with breakfast?" she asks. I say yes. "There's crumbs all over the counter in front of the toaster!" she says. Those crumbs were there long before I came downstairs this morning. She's of the opinion that she's supposed to just see things and complain about them to other people to do something about. But if anyone else sees something that needs to be taken care of, it'd be "well why are you telling ME for? if you see it needs to be done, DO IT!" So after breakfast, I start putting the dishes away. What I do is, I group items by where they get put away at, and set them by their cabinet/whatever. Then once everything's by it's spot, I can go in a line down the counter and put them in their drawer or cabinet. This way I'm not going back and forth a hundred times for things that go in a hundred different places. Mom sees this and thinks I'm putting things away wet. "They're still wet!" she says. I say I know, I'm not putting them away wet. Meanwhile this whole time, she's still been going on about how no one does anything but her. I say okay, I got it, you don't have to keep saying it. "But repetition helps!" she says. Um, no. Only with some things. I say, no, repetition makes no one want to help you because it comes off as constant nagging and complaining. "That's YOUR philosopy. It only makes sense to YOU" she says. Oh, I say, So nothing anyone says makes sense unless you're the one saying it? "Well, if it's the truth," she says. Aaaaaannnd I am 1000% done, and I say goodbye, and go upstairs. As I leave, she hollers after me "Oh, so you don't love me anymore? You don't want me anymore?" I call back that I never said such, and go on my way to my room.


Update: It's now 9:30pm. I went to my appointment. My therapist says that just giving up doesn't solve my problem, and I should call the potential job (it'd have to be tomorrow, cause she had said do it today but we just just got home) and see if they're still willing to do the second interview with me, and talk to my parents. But I'm still nervous.

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question
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
If you wanted help with something, and there were people around, would it make more sense to you to just STRAIGHT-UP ASK FOR HELP, or would you just MAKE POINTED REMARKS (ie; "gee, too bad i have to do this myself...") AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO READ YOUR MIND (and then still want to help you even after you made sarcastic comments about them)?
I'm of the opinion that if you want help, ask for it. If someone's willing to help you, they will. However, just standing around saying "no one wants to help me!", ESPECIALLY when you never asked in the first place if anyone would help, makes me not want to help you. Because it don't take all of that to get someone to help you. "You have not because you ask not"; it's even in the Bible. 
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marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
1) So I'm over the cold. It turned out to be some another kind of virus, so they gave me cough medicine and an antibacterial med. Then like I said, I got better...just in time for my period to come and harass me. Not full-on PAIN like it used to be, but there's been cramps as though just to let me know they're there. (I SEE YOU CRAMPS! (in my leslie jones car commercial voice))

2) so far, nothing again on the job front. I'm starting to explore outside our tiny town that dares call itself a city, but I'm concerned about whether or not my parents will be willing to take me if I get one of the further out ones. But then again, if I keep my search to "local", then I'm just spinning my wheels applying to the same 12 places again and again, only to hear "oh, we're not hiring right now" or "oh, we just hired people, but we'll keep you in mind." over and over again.

3) "Tomorrow" came for us Nintendo fans; I watched the premiere for the Switch. It was fun, I've never been interested in being part of watching live reveal stuff before.

4) I keep seeing the trailer for Beauty and the Beast; my interest has gone down to just "kinda". I find myself more curious about how closely they matched it with the animated film, more than wanting to watch it for its own merits. But the live action ballroom scene still slays me.

5)I saw Hidden Figures! awesome movie. I also saw Fences;

6) so...anybody else feel like in, which was it, X-2? when it showed that it was really one of the shapeshifting mutants in the White House posing as (I don't remember who; was it supposed to be a replacement for the politician that Magneto kidnapped in X-1, and tested the DNA-altering machine on him and he displayed mutating ablilities and then washed up on the beach and pretty much dissolved into water)?

7) I'm doing Days. You know how on Buzzfeed, there's like "I dressed goth/hipster/preppy/girly/tomboyish for a week and here's what happened"? Monday is my girly day; I wear my more girly outfits (so not just pink and skirts), use my Pink Chiffon lotion (cause it's the most girly smell in the world) and wear glitter in my hair. Tuesday is my day to dress like a spy or very toned down rockstar (which I recently discovered is my actual "style"). I fauxhawk my hair, put glitter in it, wear my more badass earrings (lightning bolts, pirate skulls, or safety pins). This is also the day I usually Get Shit Done, cause I feel like a Boss. Wednesday is 80s day, because that's the day The Americans comes on FX and The Goldbergs comes on channel 7 (they're both shows that take place in the 80s). Again with the glittery fauxhawk, or if my hair cooperates I'll put it in a banana comb. I listen to my "Flynn's Arcade mix" playlist on my ipod, or listen to the classic rock station on my cd player's radio. This is the day I look up new Tron fanfic, and hit up Tronblr. (btw: did anyone ever make an AU of what would've happened if Zuse really had helped Sam get to the portal?) Thursday is 90s day. No tv shows to include, but it's the day I dress like I did growing up in the 90s. So that means pastels or primary colors, and listening to my 90s playlist. Friday is Buffalo Day. I'm originally from the 716, so that's my day to represent, lol. I'll wear my Cheektowaga t-shirt, and drink out of my Tim Hortons mug. I'm trying to get my sister to send me a One Buffalo shirt to replace the Cheektowaga one, cause I've had that one since I was about 10 years old (I'm short and I grew slow). Weekends are for whatever the heck I feel like throwing on, whether it's part of the Days or not.

alright, let's do catchup:
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
1) I lost my job. well, I quit. It wasn't them, it was me.

2) I finally got together with Friend! a couple weeks ago.

3) Grandma's getting a little worse. I think I can tell by facial expression; what I noticed is she's got this STAREDOWN look at what/whoever catches her eye like it personally offended her, but she's got dark eyes so it's like having a creepy doll staring at you. I'm already sensitive to being stared at from being bullied in elementary school, so this makes me want to scream or avoid her.

4) I have another cold. It's been here since Friday night. I'd had a sore throat, and when I came upstairs, I laid down for a moment and wound up going to sleep. Then from Saturday--on, it's been coughing, congestion, tiredness, the works. 

happy election day, US flisters!
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
as a surprise, my uncle came to visit; he was supposed to come a couple weeks ago to be here for my grandma's birthday but then Things happened and he had to postpone. I'm glad he was able to still come;

on the other hand, we're in a streak of me not being able to do anything right; but they all keep asking me to do things. it's almost as if they're setting me up.

i had a breakdown halloween weekend; it was bad, i asked my parents to take me to the ER. now I'm on anxiety meds in addition to my antidepressants/ADHD meds.

i'm excited for the holidays, but i'm not in that "perfect" holiday mood; i mean, i'm buying gifts, but i don't have that "hard-on" (so to speak) for it yet. 

say whaaaaaat?! two entries in a month?!
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88

work: I start cash register training on Monday! I'm kinda nervous; I know I won't be very fast (efficient), but there's also quality (making sure I do things correctly). I've gotten "reminders" about things almost every day I've worked in the back, so far, so on one hand, maybe they're moving me to see if I do any better somewhere else. On the other hand, it's almost a step up. We also have a few things that fit our house's color theme this year (turquoise, gold and silver again), so I bought some at the end of my shift.

Seasonal: I went present shopping! for myself, I got a clock radio that has an iPod dock on top. It was only like, $11-something at the drugstore, because it's for the older generation of iPods (with the wide plug in spot), but that's what I've got (a gen 3 or 4).
Then for my nephew who's 3, I got 4 books that I liked when I was little (pretty much EVERYONE liked these): "If you give a mouse a cookie", "The monster at the end of this book (starring Grover)", "Corduroy" (dang that's hard to spell!), and for when he's a little older, "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs".
I plan on getting more cool wrapping paper this year (maybe Avengers themed).

Song currently being played on repeat on my iPod: "A View to a Kill" by Duran Duran, from the James Bond movie with the same title.


fall stuff
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
Seasonal: as it gets closer to the holiday season, my excitement ramps up more and more. I bought a bottle of pumpkin spice coffee flavoring, I have apple cider, I've started listening to christmas megalists on 8tracks, our church is asking for candy for the halloween party. I'm all set.
work: you never realize how little of a certain thing you have, until it's mandatory to use it. I had very little dark blue. Now I've made sure to have enough so I don't have to wear the same shirt twice in a week.

Happy first day of fall!!!
marvel, agent carter
mermaid88
first, I'd like to say that I surprised myself; I've been here (on lj) in the time between my last post and now. so i haven't completely abandoned the place :)

work is doing okay; I'm still making stupid mistakes because I'm new to working, but I don't have that "oh shit they're going to fire me" line of thought every time.

I saw the Beauty and the Beast trailer; well done! seeing the unused ballroom, combined with the "beauty and the beast" tune playing gave me Feels. I watched the trailer like 10 times.
ALSO: has anyone else seen the trailer for Journey to the Past: Anastasia on Broadway!!!! that movie is my JAM and I fully intend on seeing the broadway production of it. 

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