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mermaid88


If Books Were Movies...

They'd have to kick me out of the theater.


quick update before dinner:
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mermaid88
I FOUND MY SWIMSUIT!!!!!
I'd bought it as a mix and match set back in 2013, and after only a few weeks, the washing machine chewed up the top. Of course by that time, it was no longer in any stores, and I never gave it a thought about looking online. So I just gave it up and bought a new one that was clearly inferior, awesomness-wise. Back when I started working I restarted the search, since I had funds to buy it online, but none of the ways I could think of to describe it to type into google came up with it. it was the weirdest thing; I have absolutely NO pictures of myself wearing it, I couldn't remember the brand name that made it, all I could remember was what it looked like. But I absolutely COULD NOT find pictures of it anywhere online. It was as though it never existed! So I quit again. For some reason, I decided to start the search again last night, to no result. But today, MAGIC. I google-image'd it, and bam. it was the first picture. Then somehow, every kind of description I typed in, it kept coming up with my suit as the first or second result!
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And in other news, the Superbloom is kicking my butt.
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mermaid88
I've taken an Alavert everyday for the past few days but I don't want to be stingy cause they're not really mine, so I'm just dealing with all the sneezing and runny nose and stuff. I'm tired, but I stayed in bed til around 10 today. I heard on the news that peppermint tea is good for allergies so I just had a cup of that and now I'm hoping that I feel okay (at LEAST okay!) for the rest of the day.
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trying to catch up in the MC(movie)U
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mermaid88
So I've only seen the avenger movies up to Iron Man 3. That's because I've either rented them or saw them on the big screen. I've got Avengers Assemble on my iPod, but that's it. I'm hesitant to watch them on tv, because I know they cut scenes in order to air the movie in the time allotted. But lately most of the avenger fanfic I read has been going over the events in CA:WS. So now I half-want to see it so I know what really happened vs the authors' AU of events, and half-just have to know what happened if I don't want to get movie-spoiled. I kinda have a basic idea of things, but am missing exact details.Well, that and on my Tuesday (tuesday is my day to dress/feel badass and Get Shit Done) I listened to the movie's soundtrack. Now I've got the Bucky Barnes YAAAAS thing going (about 3 or 4 years late).
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mermaid88

So today's episode of Steve Harvey's talk show featured a guy in his 30s who was having trouble moving on in life (finding a career, leaving his parents' home, the usual). Mom says, "OOH! WE SHOULD GO ON STEVE HARVEY'S SHOW!!!"
AAAAAand I almost died trying to keep from laughing. Our (me, and the guy on the show) situations are nowhere NEAR similar. For one, his parents were encouraging him to go out in to the world and make a place in it, END OF STORY. My parents are also encouraging me to get a job/move out, but then they cancel themselves out by not not allowing me (yes, I'm 28 and Not Allowed) to take public transport, but also neither are they willing to be my transportation. HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH!

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mermaid88
test to see if the old feed page comes back up

"oh god, what's wrong with her THIS time?!"
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mermaid88
well, the Yahoo mail account I've had since around 2007 (maybe earlier!) is most likely gone. just, POOF. this whole time, up til about 3 months ago, I've always had the same password for it, until they forced me to change it to something so convoluted that it's no wonder that I've forgotten it. That's what "do you want Chrome to remember your password?" and the Autofill option, are for. but for whatever reasoning, it wasn't autofilled-in this time, and none of the "help" options neither actually help, nor recover the forgotten password. Also, Yahoo does not have any way of directly contacting them. The best (read: "the lesser of two evils but is still evil") option was to contact them through their twitter. But then again, I read one lady's story and she said they took 3 months to get back to her/solve anything. So at LEAST 10 years worth of emails and info is just, POOF. They can't say they deactivated it due to non-use; I was on there every morning!!!

(and the "best" (read: "worst")  part is I can't mention anything to my parents who may or may not actually be able to help; they wouldn't be able to get over the idea that this is some kind of karma for "always" being on my pc/ipod, or like I said in a previous post, they might take it as God punishing me for...whatever. Not doing something they told me to do, or something. In other words, they won't care.That's on me. And "ohh, you need a JOB to have money to fix these kinds of things!" I have never in my whole LIFE had 2 job offers before. And then when I did, it was after the whole "we're not driving you and we don't want you taking yourself" ordeal.)
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Beauty and the Beast (2017) review (only vague spoilers for those who haven't seen it yet!)
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mermaid88
Like many of us, I came into the movie already biased towards the animated version. However about halfway through, I realized: This film is how little (and big) kids imagine themselves in Belle's shoes. Or any favorite film character's shoes, really. We may watch it in animated style, but when you're playing pretend and you say "I'll be Iron Man"(or Belle or Anastasia), you're not imagining yourself as a cartoon. You're seeing yourself as this character would be if they were a live human being. This film is some little girl or boy's imagination come to life.

1) A lot of the Disney Live Action Remakes end up looking really Tim Burtonesque. This one didn't. At first, I was disappointed that it didn't follow the 1991 version to the T, but then I ended up liking that they took elements from (what I guess were) different versions of the fairytale.
2) I liked the realistic look of the palace workers.
3) To me, "Be Our Guest" was NOT the Big Production Song of the film. It wasn't...BIG enough of a production, to me, until the last part. It felt like they were holding back. Maybe it was a "you can do more with traditional animation" thing.
4)What DID seem like The Big Production Song was the song Gaston and the villagers sang in preparation to storm the castle. It had all the energy and flash and build-up that "Be Our Guest" should've had.
5) I liked that Belle wasn't perfect, lookswise. She had more of an everyday person look to her that I appreciated as opposed to that flawless princess look.
6) I didn't care that much for Prince Adam's singing voice, but his acting voice could read me the Yellow Pages anytime. 
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mermaid88
forget it. I'm not telling them SHIT. all they do is rehash the same stuff over and over and over, completely ignoring everything i say to them, just so they can pat themselves on the back and say "oh we tried so hard, she just didn't want to do anything. too bad, she had so much potential and she wasted it". they havent even gotten out of bed yet and they're already shit-talking me! and of course, mom has taken dad's side regarding driving me to this new job(if she'd ever been on my side at all in the first place). I've told them a thousand times what my reasoning for things was and yet "she should have done dental". I picked dental out of the clear blue sky, out of my ass, because i kept getting asked what i wanted to do when i grew up. that's the ONLY reason. I had absofucking NO personal investment in it. "she was getting help from the clinic and she was getting stipends and never gave us a dime". I ASKED YOU IF YOU WANTED IT AND YOU SAID NO, PUT IT IN A BANK ACCOUNT. "she won't even get on social security disability. the commercial keeps showing the woman saying she didn't know she could get it for having major depressive disorder. ariel has depression." that's because then you'll go back to Oh, she had so much potential but she threw it all away and got on disability,. "it wouldve been far easier to ride the bus in Buffalo than it is out here;" that was NEVER an option. I guarantee you that if we were back in Buffalo I'd still be in the same boat; you wouldn't let me ride the bus "because you never know who's on there these days". and yet you say "i hope that God knocks her off her high horse, but when he does, I hope it's something she can get through." I'm done. i'm not doing anything.

well i guess that cuts out ever getting a job;
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mermaid88

So after 4 months of unemployment, I finally got an interview at the outlet mall nearby (15 minutes away). It went well, I guess, because they called back saying they wanted to do a second interview. BUT. While we were out the other day, mom tells me that dad says if I get the job, he's not driving me out there, because he remembers when I was working at the other store and he had to sit outside and wait for me when I didn't come out exactly when my shift was over (because I HAD TO WAIT FOR WHOEVER HAD THE NEXT SHIFT TO COME RELIEVE ME, I COULDN'T JUST, WALK OFF. DUH.). She said he said I'd have to take the bus or something. BUT. Mom doesn't want me taking the "dangerous" bus anywhere. BUT. Because she's taking care of my grandma, there'd obviously be times that she wouldn't be able to take me either. So I didn't contact the company back. So basically, now, I'm not allowed to get a job until I get my own transportation. I have no idea what they want from me now, but I absofucking guarantee that they will be sitting around talking about how lazy I am for not having a job.


And the beat rolls on: I can literally say that today, the only kind, non-complaining words mom said to me were "good morning" when she passed by the bathroom. From the second I showed my face downstairs til the moment I got tired of it and went back upstairs, she was complaining and nagging and martyring herself. "Don't come in here making a mess" she says. I tell her I don't plan to, and remind her my therapy appointment is today. "I don't have anything to do with that...And I'm not mad!" she replies. Notice I never said anything about her being mad? And then for the next half hour, it's about the damn dishes: "no one does them but me" "no one puts them away but me" "no one cleans the kitchen but me". I did try to cut it down; I told her (agian, for the 99thousandth time) that I either wash the stuff I use, or put it in the dishwasher. "I'm saying this to you, because it's what I'm going to tell your dad" she says. She does that a lot, too: yell at me as a proxy for dad for things he's done around the house. She says it's so dad can hear her yelling at me about it and stop doing it himself. (WTF?!??!!?) So back to the martyring: "I'm washing the dishes, so can you at least put them away when you're done with breakfast?" she asks. I say yes. "There's crumbs all over the counter in front of the toaster!" she says. Those crumbs were there long before I came downstairs this morning. She's of the opinion that she's supposed to just see things and complain about them to other people to do something about. But if anyone else sees something that needs to be taken care of, it'd be "well why are you telling ME for? if you see it needs to be done, DO IT!" So after breakfast, I start putting the dishes away. What I do is, I group items by where they get put away at, and set them by their cabinet/whatever. Then once everything's by it's spot, I can go in a line down the counter and put them in their drawer or cabinet. This way I'm not going back and forth a hundred times for things that go in a hundred different places. Mom sees this and thinks I'm putting things away wet. "They're still wet!" she says. I say I know, I'm not putting them away wet. Meanwhile this whole time, she's still been going on about how no one does anything but her. I say okay, I got it, you don't have to keep saying it. "But repetition helps!" she says. Um, no. Only with some things. I say, no, repetition makes no one want to help you because it comes off as constant nagging and complaining. "That's YOUR philosopy. It only makes sense to YOU" she says. Oh, I say, So nothing anyone says makes sense unless you're the one saying it? "Well, if it's the truth," she says. Aaaaaannnd I am 1000% done, and I say goodbye, and go upstairs. As I leave, she hollers after me "Oh, so you don't love me anymore? You don't want me anymore?" I call back that I never said such, and go on my way to my room.


Update: It's now 9:30pm. I went to my appointment. My therapist says that just giving up doesn't solve my problem, and I should call the potential job (it'd have to be tomorrow, cause she had said do it today but we just just got home) and see if they're still willing to do the second interview with me, and talk to my parents. But I'm still nervous.

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question
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mermaid88
If you wanted help with something, and there were people around, would it make more sense to you to just STRAIGHT-UP ASK FOR HELP, or would you just MAKE POINTED REMARKS (ie; "gee, too bad i have to do this myself...") AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO READ YOUR MIND (and then still want to help you even after you made sarcastic comments about them)?
I'm of the opinion that if you want help, ask for it. If someone's willing to help you, they will. However, just standing around saying "no one wants to help me!", ESPECIALLY when you never asked in the first place if anyone would help, makes me not want to help you. Because it don't take all of that to get someone to help you. "You have not because you ask not"; it's even in the Bible. 
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