So, update: my grandma lives with us now. I've noticed she has a lot of qualities similar to a 2 year old. She can't be left alone, so my parents have been dumping her on me. Just, whatever appointments or etc I have written on the calendar, for the past 2 weeks I've had to all of a sudden cancel them because apparently I'm the only one that can watch her. Once, they didnt even ask; they just left before I woke up and left me to watch her.
She eats every couple hours. I don't know if she's actually hungry, or if she can't remember if she ate or not so her brain tells her stomach that she didnt. Also, she's a copycat. Whatever you have to eat, she wants it too. And if you're not fast enough to get her her own plate, she'll reach her (sneezed into, spat food into) hands into your plate and take some. And she always needs something else: a paper towel, more of whatever she's drinking, crackers; so there's no point in trying to eat at the same time as her because by the time you're done helping her your food's gonna be cold. So I wait until she falls asleep. Which isn't for long, maybe about half an hour. Then she wants a snack. Or is coughing (mouth open) a lot and needs you to pour a cup of water. For the 39th time, cause she drains drinks down like she's been in the desert for the past six years. A couple days ago, all I ate all day was a ton of those mini Twix bars, and half a cup of coffee.
Mom claims she wants HELP. But she acts like she wants someone else to take over EVERYTHING for her. My dad is no help; he's almost as helpless as grandma; when we're all in the same room, and grandma asks for something, he looks at me, like I'm the only one in the whole freaking house that can do anything. And then of course mom and dad are reaping the benefits form it too; if I'm fixing grandma some food then I'm fixing enough for them too.
But the only thing mom has to say to me is complaints about what I did and didn't do. If it's not about grandma, it's a complaint. All I've gotten from her today: "I washed the dishes so I'm sure the very least you can do is put them away." "Why'd you do THAT to your hair?" "You know the blender cup needs to be washed NOW." (Grandma had already asked me to do something for HER, so I was doing that, but that wasnt good enough so she said "did you hear me? Why are you still standing there?" "If you don't get those few little dishes out of the sink, they'll pile up and NO ONE will want to wash them" (note: 99% of the time, I'm the one getting told to wash the 'few little dishes', no matter how many there are) "go fix dinner". I go to the bathroom for two minutes; "how long have the fish been in? Are they ready?" (I heard the oven beep, indicating it had gotten up to temperature, while she was down in the kitchen; so I asked how long it'd been since it beeped. She says:) "I don't know, I wasn't paying attention, I was talking to Mother." Never mind I'm expected to practically be psychic about things she asks ME.
Just now. She went on a ten minute monologue that would make a supervillain jealous, about my hair again. I got a texturizer (like a perm, but instead of completely straightening your hair it leaves it wavy) at the salon yesterday. With a perm, I can make my hair kinda do the Dorothy Hamil hairdo. I knew that today I'd be stuck at home with grandma, so while my parents were out I decided to see if I could make my hair do that even with the texturizer in. (Note: it does! Yay!) So now mom saw it and is deeply offended (as though I did it specifically because I wanted to upset her!) and keeps telling me that if I wanted it straight then I should've told the lady that did my hair (completely ignoring that I told mom that I WANTED TO SEE IF IT WOULD WORK LIKE THAT EVEN WITH THE TEXTURIZER IN IT), and that I just wasted her and dad's money (I know for a damn well fact that if I wash my hair, it will go back to being curly. All I did was brush it and put it in rollers overnight). But because she needs to have her way in everything and have the last word on any topic, that's not enough. Nothing is enough. More 'encouragement': "Next time you do that I hope you have your own job and your own money" (yeah that's not ever happening if we keep going the way we are; one of those appointments I had to cancel was with a job coach. When I called her to cancel she told me that if I'm going to have to keep canceling then she's going to have to close my case. So then I'll be fucked, cause clearly I can't get a job on my own, so when my parents die then I'll be homeless.) if anybody's doing anything deliberately it's them! They made me quit dance class because "she's tired of taking me to practice". My therapist thinks I've been doing well lately so she's about to transfer me out of therapy. Those are literally the only two things I do outside of the house on my own. Once the therapy's done, I'll have absolutely no social life. Maybe that's what they want; if I have no social life and no job then they've got someone permenantly available to sit home and watch grandma so they can go out and have lives.
So dad just came home and of course he's taking her side (because of course there's no such thing as a parent being wrong). Also I know she's twisting my words to sound like the worst thing in the world.
Please help me not give a damn anymore. I don't want to, but it's still getting to me. Not just this situation about my stupid hair; everything.
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